So she didn't wake up at 3:30 as promised and ignored my text asking her if she was ready to switch. So I went upstairs and told her it was time to switch.
It's super annoying she thinks this behavior is okay. But anyway.
So, at work, I've decided I'm just going to try and set stricter boundaries with Monique. Part of what we'll be doing (which we should be doing anyway) is stay in a room where the door can lock if we're having a sleeping break. That way clients can't walk in and realize one of us is asleep.
It also means that if I'm awake, Monique will not have cause to turn off her alarm and go back to sleep. She'll have no reason to think I'm doing checks anyway. And that's how it should be. Regardless of if I'm sleeping or working, the point of dividing checks that way is so one person can have downtime. If I'm studying TEFL or nursing, it shouldn't matter.
The other thing I'm thinking about suggesting is that instead of dividing the sleep each night, we instead separate it by day. Monique has already cut Thursdays from her work week, so my thought is I stay awake Sunday and Monday night and she stays awake Tuesday and Wednesday night. Then the other Sara (who works with me Thursdays) and I will switch off - one week I'm awake all night, one week she's awake all night.
That way instead of two severely sleep-deprived people, there is one person who is awake and one person who is resting their entire shift (unless there is an emergency.) Whoever is taking the lead that night is fully rested, and since the resting person will have mostly uninterrupted sleep, they should recover better if they need to get up.
So, I can't remember what happened, but there was some conversation about seeking co-parents so I looked up the website. I thought it was going to be single parents looking for people to team up (e.g. a teacher, a nurse, a firefighter, and a store clerk cooperating together so that they can save money on child-care.)
And I looked up the website and I couldn't find out more without making an account, but it's actually people looking either for free sperm donation, either without parenting rights or with the goal of co-parenting (as in, both parties actively taking part in the child's life in terms of legal, kinship, and fiscal ways.)
That was not what I was expecting! But you know? Actually sort of cool. I'm glad to see the options of how people start and maintain families increasing. Some friends I have can't have kids on their own and I thought co-parenting with them would be cool. Seems like there would be more cooperation and less likeliness of a horrible blowup than in a situation where the parenting is tied to a romantic relationship.
I think the funniest thing is that men on that website are waaaaaaay less creepy/skeevy. Nothing chases away the creepy men like 'co-parent' as part of your search.
Scientists have discovered a geometric shape
at the center of reality, whose form defines the behavior of particles. It's a lot simpler than trying to calculate by hand the way those things move. It goes from hundreds of pages of math to one.
Meanwhile I'm laughing my ass off because, well, om mani padme hum
. Not the sound of the chant, but it's literal meaning: the jewel in the heart of the lotus
. Mystical people have been staring at this thing forever, because A) it's inspiring, B) it's really pretty, and C) when you're out of your body on a lot of other dimensions it tends to be right in front of your face and kind of hard to ignore. Which is okay because A and B. :D Anyhow, quantum mechanics might like to take a look at the prismatic branch of sacred art. Perhaps it will prove inspiring. Because quantum physics is where magic and science meet, which is why it's cool. I may not be able to hack the math, but quantum physics still makes my existential intelligence sit up and go squee.
On the downside, this means people are getting reeeeeaaaalllly close to figuring out graviton technology. This is about as relaxing as realizing that the toddler has just about figured out how to turn on the blowtorch. O_O
Life is full of things which are hard or tedious or otherwise unpleasant that need doing anyhow. They help make the world go 'round, they improve skills, and they boost your sense of self-respect. But doing them still kinda sucks. It's all the more difficult to do those things when nobody appreciates it. Happily, blogging allows us to share our accomplishments and pat each other on the back.
What are some of the hard things you've done recently? What are some hard things you haven't gotten to yet, but need to do?
I think instead I'd rather do nursing and social work, with some counseling training.
I've been reading up on it and apparently a lot of rehabilitation therapies are not seen as particularly scientifically sound.
I'm wondering why, for instance, the facilities in these areas (no specific one) don't focus on anti-opiods such as naltrene over the Twelve-Step program, which have scientifically sound evidence that they are effective against addiction. Apparently the USA is far far behind other developed countries in their approach to addiction.
In learning about all of this, I'm going to try taking Contrave this year and see if it helps me stop binge-eating. Treat my problem like an illness and try to approach it as such.
“The Many Faces of Har—er, Adira Potter: Chapter 39”
By = Fayanora
Chapter 39 of The Many Faces of Har--er, Adira Potter is now published!
Chapter title: Hypatia's Gambit
Chapter blurb: Some secrets are revealed, Hypatia uses her Slytherin side to get some information, and Mr. Crouch - gone mental - appears and disappears.Archive Of Our Own versionFanFiction dot net version
(I changed the title at FF.net finally and the links appear to have changed as a result but old links still appear to work so *shrug*)Big Closet version
Start at Chapter One: "Feeling Sic" = AO3
Isha said Makayla had walked the into Monique snoring because she was so loud.
Okay, THAT doesn't sound like Monique. That might have been me. I know people have told me I snore pretty loudly. (I don't get HOW, since I don't have tonsils or adenoids. Also, I record myself sleeping sometimes - to try to catch me snoring and how bad, since people have woken me up less than an hour after me falling asleep to tell me I was being loud - and it never seems to catch snoring. It's like my brain doesn't do those bad habits when I'm watching myself.)
There's no way that happened recently though cuz we don't go in that room anymore. And well, I don't think I've slept during a shift in weeks. I kept getting more and more anxious about Monique's pattern. It's possible I dozed off once or twice during the time we were in that room.
However: Regardless, I'm now trying to research what legitimate ways there are to stop snoring.
Today is warm, partly cloudy, and muggy. We went out to the orchard and removed many many field weeds from under the pear tree. It is a bumper year for pears, they are all over the ground already, with plenty left overhead. If I have the energy, I'll go back out later and pick up a bucket of them to make pie filling.
Due to circumstances at work tonight I was convinced to go in and now my co-worker is sleeping again.
I resent letting my guilt and concern manipulate me that way.
Ana annoys me with how much she believes in conspiracy theories and how right-wing she is, but sometimes she manages to ask things that are eerily on-point with where my emotions are at.
... Granted, because she believes PCOS is a conspiracy to punish women by making them infertile and because she knows I'm in my thirties. But eerily on point with where a lot of my thoughts have been since that woman was telling me how much her life changed after she got pregnant and just generally feeling incredibly stuck and without choices in life.
Conversations I feel like I can't have with anyone. Like, if I have those conversations with anyone, they'll totally freak out. Either because my friends who are women will think I'm thinking seriously about trying, or the men in my life will be worried I'm going to ask them to be a sperm donor.*
Ana doesn't even know about the sexual dysfunction, I don't think. So the question from her is a lot more eery. Like if Alicia had asked, it's like, she knows I have this barrier in my life that sort of makes my life complicated in the family planning/starting aspect.
*I guess I'd be worried about that too. I guess it's not such a far-flung theory that if I ever went that route I'd want it to be someone I knew. But I usually find it's easier to talk to men about S.D. stuff.
Here is an essay about a professor leaving academia
I went to U of I. There were parts of it that I enjoyed, and the culture wasn't that bad. But I can see parallels. For me it was more a matter of looking at the way education was going, and deciding not to get involved in public education as a teacher. It was obviously going down the tubes, and that was decades ago; it's infinitely worse now. So too, many colleges. :/ I couldn't stop it. I could sure get the hell out of the way.
This poem is spillover from the February 2, 2016 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from my_partner_doug
, and chanter_greenie
. It also fills the "separation and reunion" square in my 1-23-16 card
for the Valentines Bingo fest. This poem has been posted as a birthday present for callibr8
. It belongs to the series Polychrome Heroics
.( Read more... )
Monique literally lost her shit when she found out I wasn't coming in tonight. I'd gotten permission from Isha around 6pm.
The real reason is that she's pissed off she won't get to sit there turning off her alarm and going back to sleep all night without getting up until 6:40am.
This was it. I decided even if it means sleeping privileges are revoked, I'm going to talk to Isha about how Monique oversleeps during the shift. I can't stand that she has the gall to do 1-2 checks the entire night last night and kept turning off her alarm and now she wants to whine that I'm not coming in again so she can do the same bullshit tonight.
I even pretended to fall asleep last night to see if she would do the checks? And she didn't. I literally saw her still turning off her alarm and going back to sleep. I still had to get up and do the checks because she wouldn't.
That's the only reason why I would want to cut my hours. It's not like I thought it'd be super awesome to make less money. It's because it's causing to much sleep deprivation and resentment of my co-worker.
This poem is spillover from the September 5, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by prompts from sweet_sparrow
, and librarygeek
. It also fills the "vampires" square in my 1-1-17 card
for the Dark Fantasy Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by janetmiles
. It belongs to the series Frankenstein's Family
.( Read more... )
This poem is spillover from the August 15, 2017 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from chanter_greenie
. It also fills the "food" square in my 7-31-17 card
for the Cottoncandy Bingo fest. This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette. It belongs to the Calliope
thread of the Polychrome Heroics
series.( Read more... )
activism, cyberfunded creativity, family skills, fantasy, fishbowl, gender studies, poem, poetry, reading, weblit, writing
I asked for tonight off, too.
I've decided when we don't need two staff I'll take 1-3 days off per week to ensure that when I am there, I am able to remain awake.
Like I don't want to rat out Monique because it would cause interpersonal conflict at work (and potentially make them more strictly enforce it being an 'AWAKE' shift whereas they have to date been currently lenient and let us work it among ourselves.) It's a lot easier to offer to divide shifts (like do three days/two days and then switch the next week) or come in less personally.
But it's not fair to basically see someone sleeping next to you all night and know that if you fall asleep that person isn't going to have the checks covered. If I need to be asleep, I won't come in, because I can't trust her to stay awake. I don't want to be liable for dozing off on someone who needs 10-30 minute checks.
"Have you ever heard of a place where the custom is for friends not to touch each other?"
Adrian knows that friendship is a fundamental custom of all mankind. Or so he thinks, until his closest friend discovers a mysterious journal.A commentfic for schneefink. This story can be read on its own, but it does have spoilers for the chapters of "Law Links" that I have already posted.Online fiction: Famine or Feast at AO3.Series: The Three Lands.Series resources: The Great Peninsula: series resources for The Three Lands."Sometimes I feel that he is as mysterious as the gods, and that he is hiding something of vital importance from me. Something that would transform my life."
Few events are more thrilling in a young man's life than a blood feud between two villages. Or so Adrian thought.
Torn between affection toward his traditional-minded father and worship of his peace-loving, heretical priest, Adrian finds himself caught between two incompatible visions of his duty to the gods. Then the Jackal God sends Adrian a message that will disrupt his world and send him fleeing to a new and perilous life."'You have committed a vile and savage act, one that any other nation would punish with death. Our punishment, on the other hand, will only be to give you what you want. You have sought to live in a world without boundaries of civilization, and such a world shall henceforth be your dwelling place.'"
A cold-hearted murderer. A vicious abuser. A young man hiding a shameful secret. A bewildered immigrant. A pure-minded spy.
All of these men have found their appointed places at Mercy Life Prison, where it is easy to tell who your enemies are. But a new visitor to Mercy is about to challenge decades-old customs. Now these men's worst enemies may be hiding behind masks . . . and so may their closest allies. "He tried to keep his voice calm, though his pulse was racing."
Time is running out.
Vito de Vere has ten days to prepare for his performance in the Eternal Dungeon's first play. He may have fewer days than that to fight for his career and to save his prisoner's life.
As the Eternal Dungeon prepares for the greatest change it has ever undergone, Vito must prove his worth by breaking and transforming a criminal. Nobody else is likely to manage it. And nobody but himself cares so passionately whether his prisoner survives.
As an actor, Vito portrays the qualities of courage, love, truth, and trust. Now he must find the strength to take those qualities into the breaking cell.( To receive notices of my fiction by e-mail )
These are some posts from the later part of last week in case you missed them: Sunday YardeningWolves and DogsReview: SkyrFriday YardeningPoem: "Downtime"Poem: "For Whose Sake"Thursday YardeningGood News
This week there will be a half-price sale in Polychrome Heroics.Poetry in Microfunding:
"The Inner Transition
" belongs to Polychrome Heroics: Berettaflies and has 25 new verses. Stylet enjoys a shower and Valor's Widow starts cooking. "The Higher a Monkey Climbs
" belongs to Polychrome Heroics. Pips reveals his attraction toward Joshua Tull. "Two Foxes
" belongs to Polychrome Heroics: Iron Horses. The Iron Horses tell Kenzie what happened to the gaybashers. "A Haven in a Heartless World
" belongs to Diminished Expectations and is now complete. Read about family in adverse conditions.
Weather has been mild and mostly sunny. It rained yesterday! :D Currently blooming: dandelions, marigolds, petunias, lantana, million bells, snapdragons, zinnias, firecracker plant, white and red clover, morning glories, frost asters, torenia, purple aster, sawtooth sunflowers, pink sedum, purple sedum.